Not Right Now

By Thursday morning I knew I didn't get in. When I came to that conclusion I got called to work at the birthing center, which cemented it for me even more. Now I would have to face women who knew my fate before I did.

So I called the school and left a message. I went to work and kept to myself. I got the message that I was wait listed around 4pm. I could tell that Dave knew when he asked me to call the school, but I didn't want to ask him.

They used my short length of interest in Midwifery as a measurement of my devotion. I knew that would be the case during my interview. I left that meeting broken and sad, knowing I was being judged by my path of discovery. But I successfully buried it and waved it away, hoping my energy would dissolve their doubts.

Like all establishments, they have their thought clouds they believe in. And I didn't fit into one of them. I could still get called, up through April to attend the school.

After I found out I got my first Labor Doula client and held a beautiful baby with an old soul. Today I feel heavy and sharp, but not angry anymore. I know the school is just one part of my journey, so I am going to continue on my path with the knowledge that I now have even more opportunities available to me.